Nobody can ever completely prepare you to be a parent. Sure you can consult, and listen to the stories and the experiences and it gives you an idea of what to expect, it’s very good, but when the time comes you really just have to learn on the job. The day I conceived my life changed instantly even though I didn’t realise it immediately and when my son was born, WITH TIME, I realised I had been blessed in more ways than I could ever imagine. We are all born, “just about there” – our eyesight is not perfect, our bone structure is barely complete and the milk teeth I’ve always wondered about that, the milk teeth are yet to grow and then later be replaced with a whole different set of permanent ones. Leadership lesson 1: similarly with leadership, when that appointment letter comes, everything changes, but just like a baby, your vision needs to develop and your bones need to be strengthened so you’ll need to do all that is necessary to grow and attain all the skills that you require.

Amongst all my life privileges, the biggest by far is the privilege to be called mama Izzy. When I was pregnant I’d giggle at the thought of being referred to as mama Izzy. I even started to label my notebooks with my new nickname. I’ve got a bit of a perfectionist streak, I’ve been working very hard on that one and I’m improving. My son was born on a Sunday night, one of the most confusing experiences I’ve had in life yet. From the awkwardness of labour pain to having to get into the OR for a C-Section after 15 hours, to being unable to breastfeed for 2 days. In my mind I’d have a four-hour labour and natural delivery, my son would immediately breastfeed and we’d go home and enjoy our lives, I’d prepared for it. Leadership lesson 2: very few things in leadership are straightforward, almost everything is easier said than done even the stuff that has been tried and tested will sometimes fail, so be accepting of imperfect situations and always have options or at least be willing to explore.

Growing up I was told that snakes do not bite or harm babies, I don’t know if it’s true, but to me, it’s a testament to God’s protection over one of the most vulnerable of groups. Unlike snakes, leaders have the duty to be just and fair and to genuinely care about people. Being a parent and realising how vulnerable a baby is gets you thinking. I remember every-time I put a substance close to my son’s lips he ingested it and just like that I started checking expiry dates and tasting things first before I gave them to him because whether this little human survived was entirely on me. Leadership lesson 3: in your time as a leader you’ll come across people that are just starting out in their career, they’ll have a-lot of potential and a-lot to learn, technically they are your baby and your first job is to protect and nurture the potential you saw even when they didn’t see it in themselves. Admittedly there are different types of leaders and to some, this might not come naturally but one thing every leader can agree on is that there’s so much fulfilment in knowing that you had a role to play in an individuals growth and success.

Being a parent taught me patience and forgiveness. Aye! parents know the patience you need when your child is learning how to read or to understand that they had good intentions when they drew a love heart on your white duvet using red matte lipstick. Leadership lesson 4: You require humility to be fair and just and to be patient and forgiving you require empathy and understanding: If you were not born this way, you can learn these skills. I have about 7 years to go and then my son is on his own as he’ll be an adult – I know I know you never stop parenting for as long as you both live, BUT I pray for the strength to accept it when my son turns into a young man. I can see already from the way he speaks that his brain is advancing, let’s just say he’s not 2 years anymore. The one thing I realise is everytime my adult self is thinking but “that is ridiculous” I’m reminded to think about my 11 year old self – how did I think then and how is it different from how my son is thinking now. When my son struggles with peer pressure, I know not to say – “those things don’t matter” because when I was his age it mattered to me and such is a phase of life that we all must go through otherwise we’d be born with perfect eyesight and a full set of permanent teeth ready to take on the world.