Hello everyone! Gather ’round for a story. As I reflect on my life, there’s a particular year that stands out—the year I turned eight. It was a time filled with fascinating experiences and unforgettable stories. Looking back, I wonder if my memory has simplified things for me, but there’s one incident that taught me a valuable lesson about the dark side of leadership.

At that time, my younger brother, who has always been bigger than me (a peculiar twist of fate), was starting elementary school. To ensure his admission documents were in safe hands, my dad entrusted them to me. He said, “Pam, these are Victor’s admission documents. Keep them safe, okay?” I eagerly accepted the responsibility, replying, “Okay, Daddy.”

The next day, as I happily went about my school day, little did I know that an evening of misery awaited me. When my dad and Victor got to Victor’s school, my dad reached for his school bag—only to discover that the admission documents were missing. I was the one responsible for keeping them safe, so how could this have happened? My dad’s anger was palpable, and I braced myself for the consequences. He sternly said, “You are in serious trouble, young lady! If your brother loses his place in school, it will be your fault, and you won’t go to school either!” As an eight-year-old, I truly believed that I might become a school dropout.

Upon reaching home, I saw Victor, carefree and enjoying himself, unaware of the turmoil unfolding. How could he be so calm? Meanwhile, I spent a sleepless night, regretting my oversight. The competition for school spots was intense, and if you didn’t show up, someone from the waiting list would swiftly take your place.

This personal story serves as a powerful illustration of the dark side of leadership. At that young age, I experienced firsthand how a leader’s actions, even with good intentions, can have unintended consequences. In this case, my dad’s decision to entrust me with an important task had unexpected repercussions. It demonstrated how leaders can unknowingly burden others with responsibilities beyond their capabilities, resulting in anxiety and potential failure.

“Leadership grows like tall trees. It needs both toughness and flexibility – toughness for accountability – flexibility to adapt changes with a compassionate & caring heart for self and others.”― Amit Ray

It is not necessarily true that every leader has a dark side. Leadership styles and characteristics vary greatly among individuals. While some leaders may exhibit traits associated with the dark side of leadership, such as narcissism, hubris, or Machiavellianism, not all leaders possess these characteristics to a significant degree. These traits, when triggered in high-stakes situations, can push leaders to lean into their dark side, disregarding the well-being and needs of others. Leaders may unknowingly prioritise their own ambitions and desires, potentially causing harm to those under their guidance.

This personal anecdote serves as a reminder for leaders to introspect and become self-aware, recognising when they may be veering towards their dark side. By understanding the impact of their actions, leaders can develop empathy, make informed decisions, and create a more positive and inclusive environment. It’s crucial for leaders to strike a balance between ambition and compassion, ensuring that their leadership style uplifts and empowers others, rather than causing unintended harm.

Leadership is a complex and multifaceted concept, influenced by various factors such as personality, values, experiences, and the specific context in which leadership occurs. Some leaders naturally possess qualities like empathy, integrity, and humility, which guide their actions and decision-making in a positive and ethical direction.

However, it is important to acknowledge that all individuals have the potential for flaws and shortcomings, including leaders. No one is entirely immune to biases, ego-driven behaviors, or the temptation to prioritise personal gain over collective welfare. Even leaders with the best intentions can inadvertently make mistakes or exhibit behaviors that negatively impact their team or organization.

So, to all the leaders reading this, I encourage you to reflect on your own behaviors, motivations, and the potential consequences they may have. By embracing self-awareness and actively working to mitigate the dark side of leadership, we can foster a more compassionate and effective approach, benefiting both ourselves and those we lead.